“The strange feeling of success.”

H,

We have a deep fear of failure. There is a nodding, snivelling, massive monster on our shoulder always asking us to prove our worth and telling us we cannot prove it because we have none, at the same time. We have doubts fostered by the insecurities of others, cutting us down with words and glances that make us feel like a small, repugnant extra wheel in the great grind of life. We have, more deeply, our own experience with failure. We have all reached the limits of our competence and felt the overwhelming crush of defeat as we attempted to do something worthwhile.

The world teaches us to hide what we are bad at and to only speak, only declare, only live in and only promote the things we are good at. This way we can be intelligent (even though it is only about a few topics), we can be competent (even though it is only wrought through aptitude and the experience of learning specific things) and we can be considered successful at something (regardless of its value to anyone else). We construct this mirage of success as a cover for the fear of failure and thus create a world of faces and face value.

The Kingdom, the real one and not the alchemy spun gag or self-help manual peddled as wisdom nowadays and suffixed with “principles”, runs on something more eternal than fear. It is not a quick fix. It will take your whole life. There is no public barometer for progress and there are no milestones you can put in a book and sell to others. It is the knife that cuts to the bone of our humanity. It is the truth that puts an end to all the lies we might tell. It is powerful enough to change every life but gentle enough that it will not break in. It will come in at the pace of the believer. It will take the space granted but keep expanding. Success in the kingdom is learning to be the sort of person who lives forever in the light. Success is learning to be like the Christ.