15/09/2016

H,

That is the peace we have searched for our whole lives. The idea that we are in the exact spot we are supposed to be broken down into a thousand moments in time and then on to eternity. When did we lose this sense of peace? That elusive song that was our constant defence against the dirge of normal and actual existence in this space and time of the un-glory?

There is still that voice in the desert that calls us to the water, bread and wine of communion with the meaning of all existence. He-She calls us every day to share in the fullness of being alive. Beyond sex or gender, beyond science and art, those glorious stabs at the truth of things, beyond fear and doubt lies the undeniable presence of wholeness and holiness.

That sense of being that works from our heart to the decision in our body and soul to kneel and pray and then to our mind so we can think through our decisions and choose acts of hope, faith and love above the call of nihilism and futility.

 That sense of being we call God.

14/09/2016

H,

I think it is the basis of everything else. This love has to be shown to us in a very real way or we just will not get it. One of the great stories in Rick Joyner’s “Final Quest” is the one about the homeless man who is feted in heaven because he did not act in violence towards a cat at a difficult time. For someone who was not a recipient of much love his whole life to refrain from lashing out was a huge sign for heaven of a heart in change. It epitomises, for me, the axiom “to whom much is given, much is expected.” And vice versa.

We will only be as well formed as the love we receive. It is really that simple. In the end, the human heart is built to respond fully to nothing else but love. In this receiving, there is no ambiguity about the meaning of love. You know it when you get it. You know what it is not when it is absent.

If we are all to receive the full measure of God’s love we will all have to make that crucial choice: to reject it or to receive it. The gospels are a crucial love letter. They can be brutal and they are always realistic. They do not pretend that this is tender to tender. They do not have that fake bottom of most love songs that show the hollowness of the feelings held and the fluidity of who they are held for. They tell the tale of love at its most extreme: reaching down to explain everything and give a way out of the predicaments of the fractured human soul.

God offers His divine friendship to all of us. It does not come to us all the same way or at the same time. It is more specific because the human experience is specific and not general. It comes with the things we are not good at. It is shrouded in the mystery of our constant failure. It reaches the lowly because life has broken them first and they know the world for what it truly is; a poor imitation of an original plan that is bigger and brighter than any dreams we may have or hold.

13/09/2016

H,

There is that unique sense of a growing friendship with God that is at first quite comfortable and then peaceful. We never lose that peace, in the real sense of the word, but we begin to see our sense of self challenged by the impending light and sword that is God speaking directly to us. We cannot be left unchanged by it.

When we were much younger we were better at fighting this thing. We had two faces: one public and the other prayer. The prayer part was what we heard God say. The things we knew He wanted us to be and say and become. The public part was how we interpreted this to the outside world. We wanted that faux peace that allowed our acts and intentions not to be questioned by any authority not of God. We wanted to run so fast that our own doubts and fears could not impinge on the holiness of what we experienced when we knelt before the holy altar of God’s face. Of course we failed at this both ways. Being effective in anything takes choice. The middle of the road approach does not work in spiritual terms. One must swallow up the other.

We could have made our lives easier with a little more honesty. We could have done with granting ourselves a little more space. Yet even that is a failure: to criticise what we could not possibly know how to do better. We only had a taste of the thing. We had not yet hit the banquet. There is no time for regret that stifles on the road of the narrows. It is forward movement that is always the cure.

Are we better now? I do not think we are. Older but I am not even sure if we are wiser. What we are is more punch drunk. Our problems seem to have escalated and our ability to match them seems somehow less. It is good. We are heading toward the knock out. We are here to see stars, after all.

It is from the tomb of our former selves that we will encounter the promise of a new life and a new way of living that out. We are here to die and die again until we have a full life of truth. This sounds horrible but it is not all that bad. And it is a tiny part of our eternal story in God. Whatever we face today is inferior to the glory and the love to come.