“Always coming home.”

H,

We are always on our way home. We will arrive at some point, but we are not there yet. We are in the process. This is such an important point that it always needs repeating. Progress cannot be measured in the usual sense. It will not look beautiful and then more beautiful. There will be pitfalls and fall backs. It cannot be measured in forward steps or backward steps. We are taking steps, and this is all we know.

 

We are all cracked vessels holding in holy water. It is seeping through but home keeps pouring in more. It is like we are learning everyday how deep human failure is. We are learning the particular context of our own failure. The white-washed version of human growth does not speak to the various colours between white and grey and black and everything else in the human soul.

 

The only thing that keeps this thing going is that we have an idea of home. We are looking toward the light every day. We are trying to become these real selves we hear rumours about. We want to be better. We want to live up to principles we think make up the foundations of the universe. This is our home. Being the kind of person who can create only life and never death. Being the kind of light that gives true context to the meaning of everything.

 

 

“Only me.”

E,

You are the only material you have to work with. This is true. There is no one else you will truly direct or choose for. Even parenthood is more nudge than push. Love is more acceptance than control. Or should be. The one who needs the most work is you. Only you. This is the thing you will hear from God the most. It is always about what you do.

 

Most of anger is wrapped up in the idea of what other people do. We assign blame and then rage to things we cannot possibly control. It is better to not be angry at all, but I find it better to be angry at systems or specific conduct or situations but not people. Or people, very little and less each day. Things should have a purpose. This anger at people serves none.

 

Yet, this does not mean you should turn this anger inward. Treat yourself as you are told to treat others. Be as considerate, as forgiving and as lenient as you can possibly be. There is no need to be soft on others but hard on yourself. Take a breather. Try a little forgiveness. You are only you.

“Intimacy, non-stop.”

H,

 

The scary part about intimacy non-stop is that you have no place to hide. Many times, you want to come slowly back home. There is an intrusion into things you would rather not discuss or think about at all. God does not let up. He is not forceful, but He is deliberate and relentless about the individual soul.

 

I think a lot about what it must feel like to be God.  To know that there is no reality outside you. To know that these rebellious beings say stupid things like “freedom or death”. These beings that have no idea what death is, what non-existence means and how one must be alive to be free and how survival is key to understanding how all things fit together.

 

And to want constant intimacy with these beings who think, allegedly. Only a true view of eternity can save that broken heart. Only knowledge that all things will resolve can make that sort of joy possible. Only an actual appreciation for the value of life can make love possible and progress real. There is the collection of all life and there is the individual life of every single soul. It takes a God who is intimacy Himself, to love both so fully.

 

“God on My Mind.”

H, 

We cannot account for every second of our lives. This would be the ideal. It is not possible.  We will miss a few million of those to jokes, laxity, sleep, and things we want to forget. It is enough that we seek to fill our hours with value. It is enough that we have God on our minds. There is nothing more able to shift the human soul from potential to value, than to think on the light above focusing on the dark.

 

God on the mind is simply that: knowing that there is a role for the framer of all life in all of our life. We are lost because we are dislodged from the grund norm of all souls. We are not thinking about the divine being. We are thinking of the utility of self and this utility is small compared to the vastness of all time. We are thinking too small. We are focusing on the low centres of common life.

 

Perhaps there is nothing wrong with wanting or living the common life. Except, it is not the full life. The great curse and gift of life is that, mostly, and in our minds, we know our potential and we know our reality. We know who we could be. And then we know who we are not. We know that we are failing. God calls us to something more: to know who we must and will be forever.

“All the time.”

H, 

There should be no off switch with God. There should be no on switch either. We are going to get as natural as breathing with this. Perhaps, in the way that all things are metaphors, breathing may just speak to our need for oxygen as a being, as the being of all beings and how in this way: we live and move and have our being.

 

There is no conscious time to pray or to kneel or to meditate. This should be all the time. We are always in the divine presence; every word is heard, and every action is known. There is nothing wrong with special times to focus on this more above the press and pressure of the world, but that is to clear our own minds. God is in everything and in every moment, there is always light present in the darkest moments and we should always be listening and seeking to learn more about the big picture.

 

The separation between the sacred life and the mundane life is unnecessary. We separate church and state because nations, in the God sense, are people not territories. And when it comes to the individual, you do not have to be one or the other: you are both, for now. Where you are, how you are and what you are doing are ingredients for the divine spark all across the world.

“Finishing in Joy.”

H,

There is a harsh reality to all of life. This is a fact. There is no hiding away from it. There is no viewpoint that can shield you from the reality. In certain senses, it is harder for some than for others; it is better if you are in a certain income range or live in a developed country or have a particular ethnic background. But those are placebos in the larger sense of what we are talking about. The larger bit of life, the long view, that deals with the destination of the human soul. An easier life does not spare you from the ultimate futility of life on earth.

It is vital to keep finding this joy we have been talking about. It is not about starting in joy. No one does that. It is about finishing in joy. It is about finding the light or letting the light find you. It is a futile place, present earth, but it is not our only destination. There is much more to come. If there was not, a life of value will be as worthless as writing beautiful poetry on beach sand. It may take some time but the water that is time will clean it all up and there will be nothing left of all your soul.

Everything inside us tell us things matter. The futility is not about human life but about the human approach to life. There is much more to come. These little fires are practice for the ultimate natural light to come. In that other place, everything matters. In this place, that eternal sense of things, the joy inside of everything, matters much more.

“The Joy is Right Beside You.”

D,

I have been thinking about joy as above all emotional reactions to events. In truth, you will have an emotional reaction to many things. You are human. You will never be able to fully explain all that is in your head and your heart and the things you say will be misunderstood. This is fine. There are no villains here. Just people like you, striving to make meaning out of everyday life. You will not find joy in other hearts. You must find it in your own.

And “find it in your own” does not mean selfish pursuit or isolation from the love around you. It means that God is in your heart. The bible describes it as “at your right hand.” Next to God is where the human soul truly belongs. It is the mountaintop from which we see the whole business of living and being and coming alive. Here, we see the temporary state of everything around us except the things that will always be. We were made to be eternal beings with eternal values. This is our joy.

Joy is a vantage point. It is always there, beside you. Look.

“Emptiness.”

H,

Everything will eventually leave you feeling empty. I am not sure there are many exceptions to this rule. It has nothing to do with the importance of the things you do. Many of the things that will leave you feeling empty are actually quite important in the context of our present life. We are empty because we are disconnected from the feeling and true knowledge of the eternal purpose. All things feel temporal and fleeting and empty from our limited vantage point.

I am not even sure there is a quick or long-term cure to this. It is better to let it settle in you. It is a great binder to have, a way to pull things together and understand the kind of life we are in. There is nothing on earth that will satisfy. There is no cure all for the soul. We all find our little doses to keep us going but none of that will fill us up or makes us whole. We are all finding our addictions: work, family, drugs, church, spirituality, friendship, drink, sex, ambition, achievement, anger, deceit and all the other forces and foibles of our present human state. They are stop gaps at best and also at worst.

True fulfilment we cannot yet fathom. It is something we feel can be achieved but have no taste or experience of. It comes to us in moments. We see it in our best and worst pursuits. This emptiness can be our teacher. Many times, the absence of a thing is a pointer to the fullness to come. We are yearning for things we cannot possibly know. Let us remember to stop trying to. Let us dwell in the emptiness and the silence. It is here we are more likely to hear God more clearly.

“Laughter.”

H,

I remember when we lived in a house that was full of laughter. It is now lost in the press of life, that lie called “growing up.”  We often forget to laugh or see the joy in things. We are neck deep in the rat race and swallowed in the myth of well being by wealth, that very few things, not chemically induced, have the funny appeal.

We must learn to laugh again. Not that mockery of it the faith healers keep telling us is healthy. I mean the real sense of finding the lightness of things in the heavy scaffolding of the world. There is nothing permanent about our troubles, issues, challenges, shortcomings, or failures. Time, in the real sense, will erase all of that. The things that will remain are the things that will always be.

Joy comes in the eternal morning. There is a sun and a life and love and light that never goes out. There will be no darkness, no lies, no failure, no success, no falling, no rising, no power plays, and no mistrust. But there will be laughter. We can always laugh at the things we once were. Perhaps, we can start laughing now.

“The thought is harder than the deed.”

H,

There is this sting in Mondays. All things are mostly repetition on this plane, but Mondays feel like the height of the disease. The thought of it is harder than the living it out, though. It is more like any other day than we would like to imagine. It turns and spins on this idea that there is little joy in the drudgery of daily life and work. This is not true, of course. Like most things, it is a matter of perspective or the state of the heart.

I know I am guilty of always trying to rush through the most unpleasant parts of my day. I am trying to stop this. I want to dwell in everything. I am not saying look for pain but when something is unavoidable, to find the joy in it. Joy is mostly the realization that the worst moments will pass and there is an eternal sunrise to come. Seen in this light, Mondays are not the terrible and awful ordeal that they seem. They are just another day to tick off as we march toward that blessed renewal to come.

“The cure is always love.”

H,

It seems simple to say but: the cure is always to love. Nothing has so revealed the power of time over moments. Love is the long game. It is not about the past and always about present actions and future consequences. Nothing moves us more or demands more of our character. It is the ultimate axiom of the soul. We know what it is as soon as we are conscious.

We do not need to believe in love. Love is the great objective and love is God. In the moments of deepest despair, the grund norm of our worst feelings, the floor of our personal failures, there is still the idea we have, sitting down, that we can stand up. That first tinge of light in darkness, that obvious spark we did not see beforehand, is love speaking and telling us to come home.

And come home, we must.

“Learning to Love.”

D,

We are not granted an innate capacity to love. We have to learn this. We have strong ideas about love, a strong desire to be loved but no skills on how to either receive or give love. We know the story and have seen the map, but the reality is something above us.

We begin to learn love by failure, by knowing what it is not and what it does not feel like. We learn from heartbreak, the ones we cause and the ones we endure. We learn from the light finally revealing to us, at that darkest point, that we have got it all horribly wrong.

All of life is learning to love. This is the eternal principle, the journey of all our selves, it is the path we are on and it is the truth about the kingdom. There is no God apart from love and there is no living in God apart from living in love. It is the instinct we have to not hurt, to not lie, to not cheat and to come at it all full and open and with our best souls.

“Tall Tales.”

H,

We sometimes hold in our hands the truth about all things. I do not know if we can call it the literal truth.  Perhaps, the truth never has to be literal. It is a thing all by itself, needing no classification or clarity but experience. By the end of our present existence, we will know what is true about all reality.

Now we only have the sketches. We have some tall tales and some short ones. We have impressions and motivations and inspirations. The word of God is infallible, but the word of God is not a book but a person. If we do not get this, we will keep defending letters when it is the spirit that holds it all.

We sometimes hold in our hands the truth about all things. This cannot be contained in a single book. Yet, that single book is the best version we have in the shadows. It may be a tall tale, but it is useful to keep us looking at the light. We cannot judge what is true by what we perceive as fact. Finite minds cannot fathom, imagine, create, or restore infinite deity. We tell stories because we are grasping at some truth. One day we will meet all of it, together.

“To stories not yet told.”

Z,

We are all stories not yet told. We are somewhere along the road to a conclusion. Some of us believe that there is no real end to stories at all. There will be an end to questioning, to hunger, to doubt, to fear, to darkness and to falling. There will be nothing of the present age and only souls and spirits from the people we are now. There will be a sun but no moon, water with no drowning, passion with no hurt and being with no more becoming. It will be “the end.” And then immediately after: “eternity begins and there is no end.”

So, the present, dear daughter, relish the things that are all around you. See them for their eternal value and their eternal gain. Do not fall to the old ploy that nothing matters, and nothing will make a difference. Everything matters till it does not. Drink in the present, resolve the past and expect the future. Eternity is waiting for you.

“What is your story.”

H,

There is a lot of shame inflicted in growing pains. We inherit the fears and prejudices of our parents. We live in the shadow of their expectations. The group to which we belong is always setting the tone of our lives, telling us who we are and who we are not and how we fall short in both aims. We do not know our own story. We have not yet begun to own it.

The Kingdom was not built for people to be alike. It is made for people to be their true selves. In us right now, is some semblance of that. Perhaps a ghostly, malformed, and mistreated version of who we truly are. Perhaps, an incomplete story, a fable, an introduction, a back story, or an origin story. Yet, we are becoming. We are in the field. We are being made more and more like our true selves, daily.

Do not be ashamed of any part of your story. God certainly is not. The light is not to expose your worst sides but to show you the best path. We must work away from the easy judgments and fallen words of the cast of characters here on earth with us. We belong to a different crowd. All of us are to look up to the “crowd of witnesses to our faith.” The hall of faith is full of souls that understand what it is to despair, to feel fear and shame, to have much to be forgiven and much to forgive. Your story is valid, it is vital, and it is accepted by God.

“Let’s Tell Stories.”

H,

There is always a focus on all the things that go wrong. This is fine. It has that dramatic effect and for some reason, tragedy sticks in the mind more than joy, but it can be heavy on the heart. We all have the horror stories and safety tips on how to avoid the worst parts of human behaviour, but we need more than the darkest stories to give life value and purpose.

We need the right stories, also. There is not only the dark in the world. There is something else, not a counterpoint but a solution. For every despot there is a dissident, for every schemer a speaker of truth and for every goblin, a warrior ready to stand till the fight ends. It is not that we do not have the stories of good. It is that we do not tell them enough.

And, we forget, too quickly, the main story. There is resolution, depth, conclusion, and light in it. It speaks to our own reality and explains both the ease of evil in us and the push of light that propels our moral choices. It makes us not victims of the dark but children of the fallen in need of adoption by the true father of all things. It does not make heroes or villains of human form. These are just archetypes we build into stories for context about conflicts, but it does say this: here is life and here is death. Choose life. Let your story be complete.

“The Power of Stories”

H,

                                                               

Before we can do anything, we must tell ourselves a story that we can. This is the endless power of stories. Imagination is not to be underestimated. All our best plans must start in dreams. We must not let how the world accepts or rejects this be the pointer to how far, deep, or wide we should dream. There is always a beautiful story afoot. We are simply learning the lines and where to stand.

We also believe in the most beautiful story there is. It has everything in it but also happens to be true. It has captured the imagination for two thousand years. It puts all of history into the context of light and dark, sin and redemption, love, and final grace. There is nothing like it. It also happens to be true. We know this and, at first, it fills us with terror. It is not a weak take on reality. It is the hardest version there is. It puts choice in context, sin in context, hurt in context and the limits of our physical world in context.

It has kept us through those dry days and hard years. It does not have a crystal ball, but it tells us things before they happen. It does not simple go from past to present but follows through into the future. We know why we are here right now and where we will be in the years and non-years to come. If we wake up and cannot see the light, we remember the story and it helps us to look again at present reality. Nothing now is permanent. The story reminds us that there is always much more to come.

“Serve Others.”

H,

This common mantra that rings through all of meaning; serve others.  It is at the root of any belief system that lasts. It has a certain mass appeal because we all know there is some axiomatic aspect to it. It has a certain logic to it that is in tune with all our souls. We know selfishness does no good. We even know that the selfishness that masquerades as selflessness is facile. At worst, we seek to balance the idea of giving, not to kill it.

Christianity frames it differently. The other person represents something deeper than just fodder for our moral stance. We are not giving to that faceless other as much as we are giving to our neighbours, our friends, our ‘enemies’ and the people in our way. We are not doing this for the innate value, though that may be good enough, but as part of the reawakening of our souls. We are in the process of becoming like God. Loving others, seeking their good and trying not to hurt them, as a start, is just the beginner’s class of the divine.

“These things that change you but should not.”

E,

Trauma is a part of living on earth. The only difference is how severe it is and how soon it happens. We are all afflicted by humanity. We are wronged and then do wrong. We are all in need of forgiveness and have much to forgive, also. The things that weighed me down all through my life bubbled slowly and in spurts. There was this rage I could not connect to anything and this propulsion that did not make sense in the larger context of the things I really believed.

The resolution will take a lifetime. You will be unspooling from the human curse your whole life. There is no escape from it but there is healing. Yet, you must always remember that the things that are eternal about you will not change. You will always want love. You will always seek meaning. You will always tend toward the light. The seed of light is strong in all of us and it will grow. One day, God will reap the fruit into newness and grace.

Do not waste your years trying to be perfect. Do not spend all your time trying to live up to what a flawed man said on a pulpit that made him seem bigger than he is. He is on the journey too. He knows much less than you think he does. Rest, at last, in the arms of love. Rest, in the arms of God.