“Remembering that it matters”

H,

In the middle of all the grand things that have happened recently, maybe I should say “grand”, it is hard to stay focused on why we began this journey in the first place. The technical part of living and being sometimes blinds us from the actual purpose of living. We can also strive to create all this art and forget what we trying to say with it in the first place.

These past few weeks have had that stormy tinge to it. It has been like those dreams I keep having of being thoroughly unprepared for an impending examination only to remember at the last moment that I had already written it. It has been brutal on the legs and brain, but I fear I have not yet felt enough pain in my heart.

I know this seems like a sadomasochistic thing to say but you know me well enough to know I am not one for pain. I can freely say that this job requires feeling the pain and frustration within yourself and others and making it useful through grace. I have to always remember that it all matters, and it is not, as I am accustomed to doing, a mad dash to conclusions. Any service is all like this. Any true living deals with the problem of pain and how to use it.

I hope we never feel like we have to avoid it again. We have to run to it and embrace it. No more silos and no more hidden hills. We have to live powerfully and fruitfully in the dark. That is what this time is. This is all the reason why we remain on earth.