From john 15:4
H,
It is hard, as you say, to stick to the things you find
relevant and important. On one hand, life is arranged in this straight flow of
light and magic, it finally resolves and you can see the right way after all
those failed attempts at living. On the other, you wake up the next day, all
burning with holy oil and righteous rage to give a new face to the world. But nothing
has changed. You are still the same old human being you always were. The steam
of the new awakening may take you a few steps but before holiness, or
wholeness, becomes habit, you have many other habits that will make your life
miserable in comparison to the life you seek.
It is not time to panic. This is normal. The ascent is
more like a collection of valleys and tops rather than one endless summit. The endless
summit is still ahead. For now we are questing through the highs and lows of
the ordinary life being turned into something brand new. That change is painful
but it is real. It is the eyes being opened again and the second sight tells
you all you knew about the first world was false. This second world is spiritual,
it is where hearts all come to lie and it is the reason behind everything you
do. It contains the most romantic story ever but it also happens to be true. You
now know your place in it. Got it?
We do not. Old habits speak louder, eventually, than new
beliefs. Something stronger must take over the insides. A savior, a son, a king
and His abiding spirit must take permanent residence in the houses of our
hearts. We must let Him in to change. This is between you and me so we know we
let Him in a long time ago. But we cannot go wandering off into other parts and
think that it is enough to have him around. He is not a background for a pretty
house. We must sit and fall in love and learn and share all things. Our new
habit must be intimacy with Him.
After much failure, I have hit upon the idea that this is
the way to be. It goes back to something He already said but I had to live a
little to get back to:
“Live
in me and I will live in you and you will become like me.”
The truth is we do not want that yet. Who wants to be
born in a manger, whatever that is, be a carpenter’s son, unknown till thirty,
live in caves and sleep on boats, have only friendly company, never marry and
be killed at thirty three? Even that might sound appealing because time reached
a crescendo with this man of Bethlehem. Yet our hearts are not content with the
after-knowledge when there is a beauty part in this life. The world offers so much for us to chase and
get busy with. “Friendship with the world is enmity with me” He said. He meant
it. This world and all it offers cannot be enough for the Christian. It cannot
be anything at all. He calls us to something deeper. He calls us to sit with
Him again. And then, stay there.
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