Psalm 139
H,
I think it is the James Brown song that tells
us: express yourself! Well, we have done that to near death, have we not? Seriously
though, is there a greater place where the expression of self is more integral
to truth than before THE eyes that know you completely? Is there any place pretense
is obsolete than before the rock of ages? We have invented no new sin apart
from the original disobedience. There is no need for fig leaves because He
looks at hearts not acts.
The fear
holy rollers have is that to give human beings the right to breathe is to make
them sinners. Any more than they are already? Is it better to make the world a
placid white than a vivid blue? Is it more important to pretend you do not need
a doctor than to show off all your symptoms to Him? In any case no one who is
coming awake to God can sin lightly. It is not that you will not have that turn
that gets you or that you will not frequently fall. It is that you cannot be
comfortable in both the light and the dark. You have been arrested by a certain
truth and that good infection is spreading. It will have its say in all you do.
It is not there to create guilt but to show you that you are helpless. It is
there to show you why you need a savior. It is there to remind you that you are
in the hospital called grace. None of this can happen if you smile and call
people weird monikers and act like declaring holiness has anything to do with
holiness itself. We are cut open by the love of God. It is not to excuse our
falling down but to cure it.
The 139th psalm first cut me open. Do
you remember? It was in those tricky university days when life felt ripe for
the taking but everything that felt wrong was loud and in your face. The things
you could not say for fear of being judged by those you loved. The cravings you
were not supposed to have. The things you were not supposed to think about or
be into. Of course, you were doing some version of all the above. You were
hiding well. It was clear by now that ‘anointing’ was not character and Gbile
Akanni’s analogy of the fan still spinning without electricity was so very apt.
Then came along this psalm that just spoke to being known and known from the
start.
I did not think it possible that the bible
could still surprise me with clarity and purpose to heart. It did. I was open
to the idea that there was no hiding place in intimacy with God. It became
clear to me that He knew all these things I was trying to hide from others. Of course
I knew this before but I did not know His reaction to knowing was not a bolt or
hell but more love. This is the miracle of the thing between man and God; the
eternal response to fallen man is a loving God. There is not another love story
like this. There is not another burst of freedom than in knowing God’s love for
you. There is nothing left of the old need to hide when you know that your
sickness of sin is met and defeated beyond repair by accepting the eternal love
of God, proved in Christ, and waiting for you on the other side of waking up.
So, go ahead, express yourself.
To Him.
……..amen.
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