29th of January, 2016

Proverbs 3

H,       

If there is anything we can take from these years spent “in the wilderness” of God, it is that there is nothing to the present human heart that can remain. There is no value in the ambition to be seen, heard or represented other than the temporal feeling of purpose. He is not into that sort of thing and when we think He is that is when actions of the divine begin to look vindictive when they really are not. If we take our need to be heard, He will bring up a need to listen. If we feel we deserve to lead, He will ask us to follow love. If we complain about the scars others have left on us, He will say it is idolatry to let anything other than the light lead us in our pursuit of meaningful lives. He corrects, He instructs, He leads and He fulfills. It is wisdom to know this. It is wisdom to live with this sort of awareness.

On the road with God, disappointment in this life is not fatal but instructive. Once in a while we begin to get cosy with the idea of consolation. Wine or sex or position or money or the praise of friends and foes make us look at the softer side of life. We may carve out a little oasis for ourselves through good fortune and hard work. We may even begin to think that this is all there is; a material reality and the rest was just poverty and want and hunger that can now be numbed. But it is all just a numbing. We know it does not work. The truth about living in these bodies is that everything will eventual disappoint. Without the right vantage point, all the things we think we want will let us down once we receive the curse of actually getting it. There is an anti-climax to the human experience. Even in our deepest spiritual moments there is a feeling of wanting more than one moment or twenty five. I do not think that the human soul or spirit is insatiable. I think it just has not been filled yet.

These things we think of as vital are just parts of an unfolding journey. There is much more to come but that does not erase the immediacy of the now. We are not here to sit and wait till that crown of glory falls. There is stuff to do. That is indisputable. What stuff we are to do has an individual answer because the call of God is that specific. It is not about a voice and fire-bush or smoke and mirrors. There is a knowing God that comes from simply wanting to know and follow God. And that should be the aim. To know and to follow.

Above it all, lies the almighty truth that the stuff we do is just part of the road too. It is not the vital part. The vital part is knowing the PERSON beyond the voice, the fire-bush, the smoke and mirrors others throw up in your way claiming they are ‘mentoring’ you into God. True wisdom comes from a relationship with wisdom, Herself.