24/06/2016

Isaiah 61:4-7

H,

You have raised the point of all points. How do we know that the thing that makes us happy is the thing that God wants us to do? What is the balance between the hard side of God’s will and the gentle centre of his leading?  There are a lot of simplistic answers to this question. Let us avoid all of them. The real one, as far as we can see from this side, is about the discipline of God. It is easy to talk about the things you know and the fields in which you have acquired some skill. If you keep talking only about the things you know and only roll in circles that celebrate such finery, then you will always be called brilliant and you will only hear yourself praised. But that is not all of life.

What if His plan was to make us more rounded than we possibly could imagine? What if it is not only competence that matters but character? Now both terms are interchangeable in this context and I do not mean morality when I mention character. A person can be competent at following a certain moral code. Goodness may be his gift. That does not mean he will not brag about being upright or make others feel dirtier next to his filthy rags of self, dressed up as right doing. He is morally competent but has no character. See what I mean?

It is not enough to be good at your gift. God demands more. He demands a certain way of looking at the world and engaging it. He demands that we be lights. There is only one light in the universe that lights up the inner place of things. He wants us to be bearers of that light. This will require we leave the things we know. It may even mean that when we are learning these things we will be uncomfortable. It may go against the grain of our own feelings on the matter. In fact this is not merely a “may”, it is a conclusive “will”. We will go into deserts and have dry spells. We will find things we are abrasive towards on the narrow path. We will die daily. This is not a pointer that we have taken a wrong turn. It will not have the moral weight of a contest that we recognise as test and trial. It will be the dark night of the soul and we will feel nothing like ourselves. All balance will leave us, all hope and all safety.

When this happens, it will not be trouble ahead but a new found peace inside. We will connect with the things about God that scare us and from which we keep attempting to run. Remember that it is not punishment but love. You will not suffer for nothing. You are a disciple.