H,
It always begins with the
internal inventory. We are fighting and pressing up against our worst selves
all the time. The more we let that version of ourselves thrive, the more it
takes a foothold it should not have over everything we do.
This is the main battle in
the celestial war of ages. We are not here to turn the tide on other lives and
interrupt or instruct others on how they ought to live. We are here to discover
how weak we truly are and how helpless we must become in the face of grace and
living in the light.
We are “poorly made” by sin
and desire to be “wonderfully re-made” by love.
This turns our understanding
on its head. There is a part of us that comes alive when we first turn to God,
not in the humble way of truth but in the prideful way of trying to lead
others. It is like we have been looking for answers along with a sense of
personal greatness. This side of us will not thrive long on the narrow path. It
will fill its empty places with pretence and vainglory before long. It will
convince itself that it has nothing to grow into and will seek to make excuses
for any sort of mishap as the falling down of a great soul and not merely the
humanity of a saved soul that is in repair and in process.
This inventory of our own
soul is the counterpoint to the large argument of self against change. This inner
look is not to make the self-more prominent or to build a pity party for all
our wrong doing. It is to make it clear to our own heart that this is the light
and we sit in the dark. The light is overcoming our dark. We are walking back
from the moment of our salvation. We are gaining back long held enemy
territory. We should let the grace of God do its work.
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