Dealing.

H,

“Dealing.”

Most of our time goes in dealing with ourselves. This is always a unique problem because there is tunnel vision, the unreliable narrator and the master of good intentions (even on the surface) at work. We think in relation to our own selfish ends being altruistic. We cast ourselves, mostly, as the hero of the story of life, in which others are merely bit part players or supporting characters.

The “hero” in this sense could be tragic, meta-human, flawed or even, and mostly, just misunderstood. We have different variants of the same disease of self. One might think he is Kal-El and the other might think he is Damien Omen. In both cases we are at the centre of the forest and our tree bears fruit in all seasons; sometimes we think this fruit is good and sometimes we think this fruit is bad. Most of the time there is a broad hint that the fruit is salvageable.

It is possible that this is one of the main reasons God came down in human form. We need a measure outside the cycle of human effort and failure. We need a light out of self. We are dealing with the most intimate of sins and the most crushing of disasters that all add up to the tragedy of being human. We need an outside look at what it is to be full of light against the ensuing darkness.

The answer we get is not the one we thought up. He did not come in on a wave of glory. The term “Glory” in both Hebrew and Greek add up to the great revealing of the true nature of God. What we see in human form is not a tale spun of perfect teeth and pristine manners. It is not a story of a handsome meta-human standing aloft our condition and breathing the beauty of the uncommon life down to us from the vantage point of the stars. It is more HBO than CW. It is grime and sand and death and blood. The real person of Jesus Christ shatters our very idea of “hero” and puts in that spot a stirring reality. A passionate, sensitive, doubting and troubled soul weighed down with the sins of the world as we are but knowing it. The sin is not to know or believe. He avoided both. He took death in and came out in life. The eternal life of living in God. This was our destiny and God had to show us. This is our real life and it takes a cross to reach it. We face life and death with this great example: light above us all and new life in us all.

I am going too lofty again. This is the stirring truth: it is fine to be human and flawed. Strength is at the bedrock of intimacy with God. In giving over all of us we reach the truth about our state. We find pain unbearable and doubt unspeakable. Yet, somehow, these are the best points on our journey. Our faith tells us that the real self will show and bring us to our knees. Most of the time the only way to deal with this is to stay right there.

Till God rolls away our stone again.